I really enjoyed your story. I did find the way you changed from first to third person somewhat distracting. You need to decide which you want to use and stick to it.

This passage is an example:

She’s smart, pretty, has always been loyal to me, pretty, fun when she loosens up, beautiful, powerful, gorgeous…

And that’s when he had realized he had fallen for her. He loved everything about her. The way her hair rustled in the wind, the way she chewed on her bottom lip when she was concentrating, the way her whole face lit up when she smiled, the way her eyes sparkled when she was excited or happy, and the way that she always made him feel better.

Taking the first person narration into the second paragraph it should read like this:

And that’s when I realized that I had fallen for her. I loved everything about her. The way her hair rustled in the wind, the way she chewed on her bottom lip when she was concentrating, the way her whole face lit up when she smiled, the way her eyes sparkled when she was excited or happy, and the way that she always made me feel better.

See what I mean? That said it was an enjoyable read and I hope to see more of your work.

good job...In the beginning, though, would Hermione actually go down into Knockturn Alley because she was curious (something like that, I forget the reason :D sorry) ? Anyways, nice ending, I thought it was really well done.